So before I end up posting a shit load of pictures, let’s talk about Australia. Unfortunately due to unseen circumstances, I was unable to go to Melbourne. So most of my trip was spent in either Sydney or in Cairns (aka the Great Barrier Reef.)

So some things I have definitely learned on my trip:

a. Australians love rules. Well, actually Australians, hate rules, the Australian government LOVES rules. I mean there are the strangest rules in Sydney. We visited this one bar that was suspected to be a “trouble” bar, which means they had to call the cops the most, even if the call wasn’t violent. Anyway, this bar couldn’t serve SHOTS after midnight. And for awhile had to take ten minutes at the top of everywhere without serving any drinks at all. what’s up with that?

I am going to start up a bar, I can’t serve alcohol and people will be thrown out if they smile!!

Truly fuckin’ strange.

b. I really take it back. I swear. Everyone I met through someone was the nicest person ever. It was the bogans. yes bogans. the Australian version of rednecks. They were everywhere in Cairns. They don’t like Americans. They also don’t like anything else really.

c. Most people will not say “god bless you” when you sneeze. I had the discussion with someone that maybe the only person who says it to you is someone who likes you or is related to you. Have you ever been hanging out with someone who you like but you don’t know how they feel? Wouldn’t this be a great test.. Can you believe it, Rebecca said God Bless You. Hot Damn!

d. Australians truly are linguistically lazy. They shorten football. The word only has two syllables. Two fucking syllables. They call it footy. Which I think is way too cutesy for such an aggressive game.

There are currently three different sports that confuse the fuck out of me in Australia. One is rugby, one is called rugby rules (I think) and the other is AFL (australian football league). One of them is about kicking a ball through poles. One of them, the dudes are fucking huge and you can’t be on team if you have a neck. One of them involves kind of stopping and going, alla “downs” in our football. There might be a fourth. Who knows. Anyone?

e. Korean tourists are friendly and fun and smoke. In that order.

f. Australian beaches are beautiful. Period. I don’t like beaches and like these beaches, if that gives you any idea of how nice the beaches are.

g. I had a lot of trouble finding an Australian delicacy. I tried Vegemite. It was anti-climatic. I ate sour cream and hot chili sauce with potato wedges. It was tasty. I ate tomato sauce (sshhh, it’s actually just ketchup.) I asked around and most Aussies told me that they don’t really have much of their own food. I did eat some good Malaysian food, Italian and good seafood. Let’s get at it Australia.

h. Sydney is not very PC. I mean, they aren’t PC at all. There is a picture that I will put below, that I thought was incredibly racist. No one, even the half Chinese girl I was drinking with, did not think it was racist at all, and I quote “that’s what we look like.” Wow and wow.

austracist

i. Do whatever you can not to fly to Australia in one shot. I mean as great of a time I had, which I very much did, don’t fly. If they have invented transportation by the time I write this, just do that, no matter what the cost. The plane and travel is really exhausting. And it takes a lifetime and a day. A day that you get back cause you time travel.

j. Time travel is awesome.

so anyway, that’s about it for writing, go and visit australia, (take two seperate flights if you can) and make sure you meet friends of friends. It’s a beautiful continent and really really big, so take some time to travel around.

also watch a footy game, it’s wondy… or something.