So far, my theory that people from New Jersey are literally stuffed into every corner of this globe has yet to be 100 % debunked but I am starting to wonder…

Let me tell you this with 100 percent certainty; Australians fuckin’ hate Americans. Period. There is very little wiggle room when it comes to this. For some reason, I swear I thought we’d get along just fine, you know with the whole sharing a language thing and all. Nope. I mean don’t get me wrong, all of the Australians I have met have eventually liked me. But this is after about ten drinks and a ton of convincing. (note to editor… try bribing more often)

I am not sure which Americans have come in and fucked up this country / continent but you’d think they’d hate us less than the Brits but that’s not true. Damn. Do the Canadians still like us?

Things I have done in the town of Cairns, Queensland, Australia that I didn’t expect I do:
a. come this close to winning a game of Ping Pong against a Brit with a radiohead tattoo
b. Eat chicken wings with 3 Brits, 2 Chicagoians and 1 Australian
c. Be welcomed into a clan of four Korean tourists
d. Hear so much god damned dance music
e. Explode into a million freckles
f. Actually hear the song “Land down under” by Men At Work
g. Drink a lot.

wait maybe I expected that last one to happen.

Things I did while I was here (and kind of expected to happen):
a. See the Great Barrier Reef in all of it’s amazingness (wait till you see the pictures)
b. Sleep in a bunk bed
c. Go White Water Rafting down the Barron river
d. Eat the worst slice of pizza I have ever had
e. (last minute addition) Eat the worst hot dog ever. (picture will prove this one also)

Cairns is a strange little town that I have tried to summarize four times already but keep having to delete it cause none of it really fit right. It’s all the beauty in the world wrapped up with a bit of abnoxiousness nestled in a box of a sleepy beach town. Come and visit. If you visit before you’re 30, you can get a year work visa.

Ok back to Sydney and then maybe to Melbourne. Fuck I do not need to fly on any more planes.

more soon..