Thepunkguy

As per usual, a documentation of my trip to Paris and London. This was a considerably quicker trip than I am used to taking so the usual stories may seem a bit abridged but they are not, just less time to get in trouble. If you plan on stealing any images, please photo credit Kristian Sorge. Thanks.

Some things you might want to note.

PARIS:
a. It’s better to have a guide than not to have a guide. Everyone in Paris is a liar about not speaking English. They all do, they just like to see you squirm.

b. It’s pretty. I mean really fucking pretty.

c. There are a lot more Jewish people in Paris than I expected. I never met a French Jew before, this time I met 3. Weird.

d. The food there is pretty much awesome. As long as you like duck, things stuffed into ducks or duck livers. Ok, maybe that’s not it… but the food is really really great.

e. Note to late night (straight) drinkers. The only thing open after two am in paris besides clubs are gay bars. We found out on mistake. Oops.

LONDON:

a. The metros in London are way more efficient than most cities, with this said, they are NOT BETTER. London tubes seem to travel at -10 kilometers per hour and don’t have air conditioning. Not only do they not have AC but I think they intentional pump heat out on hotter days. It was brutal..

b. Our money isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on. When I landed in London, I exchanged 600 American dollars. Want to know what I got back? 270 English pounds. WTF? Seriously. Don’t go unless you’re rich or we get out of this economic slump. (good luck on that.)

c. There are only three good foods in England, the English breakfast (see below), beer and Indian food.

d. Go to Rough Trade records, ill say it again. That place is like the Amoeba Records of EU.

e. Beer drinking is so popular in England they have a place called Wetherspoons, which is like the TGIF’s of beer. No shit. Check it out HERE.

f. People like to dance. And I don’t mean like in NYC when you get drunk and dance to Bon Jovi at the local rock bar. I mean the only place open on the weekdays past 11 are full blown techno spots. So make sure you drink a ton before midnight.

g. They have real history. Not like our “Thomas Edison shat here” or anything like that, they have like fuckin’ buildings from 1402 there.

h. I don’t understand the Queen. I’m sorry..

i. it’s a 5 month waiting list to have a cup of 90 dollar tea at the Ritz. Book now.

Some notes about my trip..
I had two great guides for each city, so thank you Clarisse and Craig, you guys made my trip awesome. Craig, no more late night chicken or kebab, seriously, that shit fucked me up hard core.

When traveling with family members like I did, please be prepared to:
wear headphones, talk a ton about how nuts your childhood was, find out about things you never would have expected from your cousins, take a ton of pictures, drink pints.

That being said, I had a really nice time with my cousin, my other cousin and his wife. Nice to know I have a little family out there..

BELOW ARE SOME PICTURES that may or may not have some explanations next to them.

click to see larger images..

a. Words mean different things in London. I really like this picture. I don’t know why.

b. This is the Eiffel Tower, this was the closest we came to seeing it. Is that bad??

c. These kids really wanted to talk English to us. Then I think they were going to jump rob and rape me. They scared me a lil.

d. This is Notre Dame. My friend Clarisse’s friend Camille couldn’t laugh harder when I pronounced it like we do. Ha ha ha.

e. We went to an antique exhibit featuring some of the most expensive Art / Furniture / Antiques known to man. I liked this painting. I think it was like 20 years old. Typical.

f. This is St Bruno, I know nothing about it since we just walked by it. But it seems that Paris is always in the “magic hour” of dusk. I swear.

g. This guy must have REALLY needed to make a public phone call.

h. Possibly one of the three best pictures I took while I was on my trip. This is taken from that Church up high in the city. Sucre… C’mon people, help me out…

i. Top two best pictures I took. I love this. Once again, the Magic Hour..

j. This is London Bridge, as in the song. How fucking anticlimactic is that?

k. London Tower and a grey sky.

l. A real English breakfast. No Joke.

m. If someone asked me the vital difference between America and Europe is, is that there is no way that Starbucks in America would trust its public with real mugs when they wanted to stay with their coffee.

n. Read: real old castle. Really old.

o. This pub we drank in was from like the 1700′s. It was the finest place I have ever drank beer. Period.

p. This is also London Tower, this is also one of my favorite pictures of my trip.

so that’s it. overall it was a lot of fun. leave comments if you want, let me know if you want to see more pictures too.

tpg.